"Thank A Cop"

I just got home from an extremely pleasant fourty five minute run-in with some of "Tucson's finest" and now that it's over, I can attest to just how blessed Tucson is to have such fine law enforcement in this town. In all seriousness, I truly do wish that I could have that last hour of my life back. There's nothing like the feeling of standing on a sidewalk next to three squad cars, their flashing lights, and a team of cops staring you down, drooling at the thought of writing you a ticket, despite being certain of having not broken the law which they are citing (or attempting to cite) you for. I probably shouldn't be taking the time to write this right now considering the heavy workload I've had hanging over my head recently but I couldn't help myself tonight. Below is a synopsis of the incident.

I was heading back from the Tuesday Night Bike Ride, riding my bike south on Stone Ave. and approaching the downtown Tucson Police Station when I casually leaned back from the handlebars to let my back stretch for a few seconds. Out of the corner of my right eye, I had noticed a police car in the driveway of the station but remained in my upright position, not thinking twice about the car. Seconds later, lights were shining on me. I hadn't even ridden an entire street block, between McCormick, where the police station starts, and Cushing, where the Police station ends, before the cop had targetted me. I immediately started to think to myself what I was being pulled over for. After getting off of my bike, I approached the car to ask the officer what I had done. Soon after, I had been informed that I was going to be given a citation for not riding my bike with my hands on the handlebars. I was shocked. For better or worse, I was unable to hold back my disbelief for why he had just pulled me over and began to openly express my frustration with him regarding the matter.

Fortunately, my friend Dwight was driving by right after I had been pulled over and stopped to see what was going on. I'm pretty sure that he was in just as much awe as I was when I told him the reason for my detainment. Ten seconds hadn't passed before he told me that he would come right back with Erik Ryberg, the infamous Tucson Bike Lawyer. The corner where this was taking place, Cushing & Stone, is conveniently located just a street block away from Erik's office and since he was in the neighborhood, he was able to show up within minutes after Dwight had left to grab him. Erik kept me good company for the majority of the episode, sharing jokes, and acting as moral support.

It didn't take long before Officer Portillo, who had pulled me over, had learned of my general disapproval of the amount of time which he and his fellow backup team - two additional squad cars - were dedicating to the case of a law-abiding cyclist. The officer asked for my ID, copied down my information and had started writing me a ticket when I asked exactly which specific law it was that I had broken. He must have spent ten or fifteen minutes looking through his book of statutes attempting to find the one which he had in mind, before asking the apparent expert "bicycle enforcement officer" who had just arrived on the scene. The other officer confirmed that there was no such law and the two agreed that they had gotten it mixed up with that "other" law stating that cyclists should not ride with both hands off of their handlebars when carrying an object in one hand. After being questioned by the officers as to whether my bike was a "ten-speed," a "single-speed, or a fixed-gear," I walked home with Erik, ticketless, and yet, still quite annoyed.

What was perhaps more upsetting to me than the false accusation on behalf of the police was how the whole procedure was carried out. First off, there was no mention of issuing me any type of warning. Furthermore, throughout the entirety of the ordeal, Officer Portillo made no mistake of keeping his car parked, much to my liking, in the bike lane with both his engine and lights running. For fourty-five minutes. And this is standard procedure. I've witnessed the same thing when being pulled over in a car before. Meanwhile, gas is still under $4 a gallon so who cares, right? I mean, the money's not coming out of the officer's pocket so what incentive is there to conserve a little bit of gas? Maybe when oil hits $150 or $200 per barrel, TPD will get with it and work on, you know, that whole going green thing. I guess all I'm doing here is restating my belief that the law enforcement system has it all wrong on all accounts: Their increased targeting of bicycles, their apparent misunderstanding of cycling laws, as in my case, and their consistent disregard for the practice of conservation.

It's my belief that each of the above issues could be easily improved with just a little bit of effort on behalf of the TPD in the future. If there is going to be increased enforcement of bicycles around Pima County, the laws should be clearly understood by the officers enforcing them. If the laws are especially relevant to road safety and the cycling community experiences difficulty abiding them, then perhaps it would be worth posting more enforcement signs as a safety measure (although I'm sure that the police wouldn't want cycling-related ticket revenue to decrease too much). After all, it seems that the majority of motorists still aren't aware of many traffic laws. Is it, then, maybe worth requiring more driver's education classes before issuing and renewing licenses to drivers today? Don't get me wrong: I think the same thing should probably go for cyclists too. Maybe it's time that all cyclists are required to enroll in safety classes prior to getting an operator's license so that everyone on the road can commute safer. That's another story, though.

In the end, here's what I learned from the police Tuesday night: Don't ride without, um, hands on your handlebars? Or as Mr. Portillo and his co-workers put it, don't ride "without handlebars" on your bike. Hmmm, OK. Oh, and don't forget, never ride your bike equipped with front and rear lights. In the bike lane. In front of a police station. At night. Ever. It's common knowledge that there's typically never any crime around the greater Downtown Tucson area passed 10 p.m. or so, and as a result, TPD has made sure to keep the community safe by resorting to serving justice in another way: by hunting down and harassing those sweaty, long-haired, anarchistic, law-breakin' cyclists.

Anyhow, I'm sure Erik had plenty of other things to be doing with his time tonight so I just wanted to say thanks, Erik. And thanks, Dwight, for helping me out as well. Both Dwight and Erik are part of what make Tucson so unique, and in my opinion, the two of them are some of Downtown Tucson's most important assets. Please support them whenever you can.

Lastly, I've included some video footage of what cops do best: keeping us safe and out of harm's way.